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Call Me Madam (1950)

Compositeur: Irving Berlin •

Parolier: Irving Berlin •

Librettiste: Howard Lindsay • Russel Crouse •

A satire on politics and foreign affairs that spoofs America's penchant for lending billions of dollars to needy countries, it centers on Sally Adams, a well-meaning but ill-informed socialite widow who is appointed United States Ambassador to the fictional European country of Lichtenburg. While there, she charms the local gentry, especially Cosmo Constantine, while her press attaché Kenneth Gibson falls in love with Princess Maria.

Texte des chansons - 1950 Original Broadway

1950 Original Broadway



1. Mrs Sally Adams


Missus Sally Adams

Requests the pleasure of your company

At a supper and dance

A farewell party

That she's giving at her house tonight


Missus Sally Adams

The queen of Washington society

Anybody at all

Who's anybody

Will be gathered at her house tonight


Missus Sally Adams

The new ambassador to cross the sea

Missus Sally Adams

Who says "The hell with formality"


Missus Sally Adams

Missus Sally Adams

Makes 'em sing at her parties

And each guest becomes a ham

Giving all that he's got

It may not please the smarties

But she doesn't give a damn

If they like it or not

She is liable to blurt out

The thing that she should ignore

But nobody will care

She can iron a shirt out

That's stuffed with a senator

Or a Congressman there


God bless America

For Missus Sally Adams

Who wants the pleasure of your company

Glad are we

To accept and root for

Missus Sally Adams

Queen of all the madams

Madam Ambassador


[Reprise]

Missus Sally Adams

Requests the pleasure of your company

At a supper and dance

A coming home party

That she's giving at her house tonight


Missus Sally Adams

Has lost some of her popularity

And the chances are

That a few somebodys

Will be missing at her house tonight


Missus Sally Adams

Is back among us very suddenly

And we're very anxious

To hear what happened there across the sea


We are simply delighted

And happy without a doubt

To be gathering there

Ev'ryone is excited

For maybe we'll hear about

Sally's foreign affair


God bless America

For Missus Sally Adams

Who wants the pleasure of your company

Glad are we

To accept and root for

Missus Sally Adams

Queen of all the madams

Madam Ambassador



2. Hostess with Mostes' on the Ball


I was born on a thousand acres of Oklahoma land

Nothing grew on the thousand acres for it was gravel and sand

One day father started digging in a field

Hoping to find some soil

He dug and he dug and what do you think?

Oil, oil, oil

The money rolled in and I rolled out with a fortune piled so high

Washington was my destination

And now who am I?


I'm the chosen party giver

For the White House clientele

And they know that I deliver

What it takes to make 'em jell

And in Washington I'm known by one and all

As the hostess with the mostes' on the ball


They could go to Elsa Maxwell

When they had an axe to grind

They could always grind their axe well

At the parties she designed

Now the hatchet grinders all prefer to call

On the hostess with the mostes' on the ball


I've a great big bar and good caviar

Yes, the best that can be found

And a large amount in my bank account

When election time comes 'round


If you're feeling presidential

You can make it, yes, indeed

There are just three things essential

Let me tell you all you need

Is an ounce of wisdom and a pound of gall

And the hostess with the mostes' on the ball


An Ambassador has just reached the shore

He's a man of many loves

An important gent from the Orient

To be handled with kid gloves


He can come and let his hair down

Have the best time of his life

Even bring his new affair down

Introduce her as his wife

But she mustn't leave her panties in the hall

For the hostess who's the hostess with the mostes' on the ball


[Encore]

I've been highly complimented

And I thank you what is more

You'll be damned well represented

By your new ambassador

For my one ambition is to make them fall

For the hostess with the mostes' on the ball


In the handbag that I'll carry

There's a precious little note

To their highnesses from Harry

Introducing me he wrote:

"I'll appreciate a favor large or small

For the hostess with the mostes' on the ball"


There'll be no mistakes, I've got what it takes

To make friends across the sea

I'll make being smart an important part

Of my foreign policy


I'll cement our good relations

When I give my first affair

There'll be special invitations

To the Duke and Duchess there

Who's already written asking them to call

Not the priestess with the leastes'

But the hostess who's the hostess with the mostes' on the ball



3. Washington Square Dance


Square dance

The Washington Square dance

Republicans make up with the Democrats

Show those foreign diplomats

That you dare dance

The Washington Square dance


No matter which side you're on or where you stand

Take your partner by the hand

And each pair dance

The Washington Square dance


The theme is a get-together policy

Show your friends across the sea

It's a fair dance

The Washington Square dance


The rules are the same as cricket, golf or squash

No fair cheatin' 'cause the Wash-

-ington Square dance is square


-Bow to your partners, bow to your corners

Dance till your cheeks are red as a rose

But try not to step on your partner's toes

-Now, duck for the oyster, dig for the clam

Duck for the oyster, dig for the clam

But do your diggin' for Uncle Sam

-One for the money, two for the show

One for the money, two for the show

Three to make ready for Uncle Joe

-Republicans over to the right

-Democrats over to the left

The left meet the right and don't explode

Try to find the middle of the road


And square dance, the Washington Square dance

Be careful, you'll have to watch your step, by gosh!

No round heels because the Wash-

-ington Square dance is square



4. Lichtenberg


I don't think you know much about us

Except, of course, our famous Lichtenburg cheese

I know very well you enjoy it

And we would enjoy it too

But we can't afford it for we must have money

And so we send it to you

But Lichtenburg won't be offended

We'll manage to stay alive

We're not very touchy

This quaint little duchy

That somehow seems to survive


Too small to be a city

Too big to be a town

Too poor to have an army

And too easy to knock down


Too little to sell across the seas

Babies and cheese are our main industries


Too slow to please the young folk

Too fast to please the old

Too many who have copper pennies

Too few who have gold


But somehow we manage to play the game

While the other lands keep changing hands

Old Lichtenburg stays the same



5 Can You Use Any Money Today?


Money, money, money, money, money, money

Can you use any money today?

Money, money, money, money, money, money

Nice new bills that we're giving away


There are photographs on ev'ry one

Lincoln, Grant and Washington

Or you might like the ones with Henry Clay

Can you use any money today?


Two million, four million, six million, ten

Take what you want, when it's gone you can come back again


Bills that haven't been printed yet

You can have them by the sack

Coins that haven't been minted yet

That you never have to give back


Money, money, money, money, money, money

Uncle Sam puts it right on the line

And if we ever run out of checks for him to sign

You can have mine

All of mine

You can have mine


[2]

Money, money, money, money, money, money

Can you use any dollars today?

Money, money, money, money, money, money

We've so much that it gets in our way


In our Treas'ry there's a mighty sum

Millions we've subtracted from

The envelopes that hold our take home pay

Can you use any money today?


Home in the states underground there's a cave full of gold

Back up a truck and we'll fill it with all it can hold

Take ten million and please don't fuss

If you find it can't be spent

You can lend it right back to us

And we'll pay you seven percent


Money, money, money, money, money, money

Uncle Sam puts it right on the line

And if that feller with whiskers ever should decline

You can have mine

All of mine

You can have mine



6. Marrying for Love


Ten generations of Constantins

Lived very comf'table lives

They were contented to live in style

Supported by their wives

Daughters of men who were wealthy

Fitted them like a glove

They all married for money

I mean to marry for love


It's an old-fashioned idea, marrying for love

And that old-fashioned idea's what I'm thinking of


Where there's love, poets have said

Two can live as one

That's an old-fashioned idea

But it's being done


When I find the man that I'm crazy about

There's much that I could do without

But I couldn't do without love


Just an old-fashioned romance with a moon above

A romance, one that will end marrying for love

That's the kind of love

That I'm thinking of


[alternate bridge for male:]

If she must have gold, let it be in her hair

Rubies, let them be in her lips

Diamonds, let them shine in her eyes



7. The Ocarina


Listen to the ocarina play

Listen, don't you seem to hear it say


Dance to the music of the ocarina

Ocarina, ocarina

Gretchen and Otto, Hans and Wilhelmina

Dance to the ocarina dance


Dance to the music of the sweet potata

Sweet potata, sweet potata

Cheeks gettin' redder than a ripe tomata

Dance to the ocarina dance


Listen and hear the notes escaping

Out of that tiny hole

Doesn't it please your soul?

Doesn't it say, "Dance the polka"?


Step to the music of the ocarina

Who refuses? Wilhelmina?

Wait till she listens to the ocarina

I know that Wilhelmina will



8. It's a Lovely Day Today


It's a lovely day today

So whatever you've got to do

You've got a lovely day to do it in, that's true


And I hope whatever you've got to do

Is something that can be done by two

For I'd really like to stay


It's a lovely day today

And whatever you've got to do

I'd be so happy to be doing it with you


But if you've got something that must be done

And it can only be done by one

There is nothing more to say

Except it's a lovely day for saying

It's a lovely day


[2]

It's a lovely day today

And whatever I've got to do

I've got a lovely day to do it in, that's true


But perhaps whatever I've got to do

Is something that can be done by two

If it is then you could stay


It's a lovely day today

But you're probably busy too

So I suppose there's nothing we can do


For if you've got something that must be done

And it can only be done by one

There is nothing more to say

Except it's a lovely day for saying

It's a lovely day


[3]

It's a lovely day today

If you've something that must get done

Now don't forget two heads are better than just one


And besides I'm certain if you knew me

You'd find I'm very good company

Won't you kindly let me stay?


[4]

It's a lovely day today

And whatever we've got to do

We've got a lovely day to do it in, that's true


And I know whatever we've got to do

Is something that can be done by two


I'll say it's a lovely day for saying

It's a lovely day



9. The Best Thing for Your


Please let me say from the start

I don't pretend to be smart

I just suggest what I think best

Having your int'rest at heart


I only want what's the best thing for you

And the best thing for you would be me


I've been convinced after thinking it through

That the best thing for you would be me


Ev'ry day

To myself I say

Point the way

What will it be


I ask myself what's the best thing for you

And myself and I seem to agree

That the best thing for you would be me



10. Something to Dance About


Something To Dance About


An old hand at giving parties I've learned an awful lot

The best reason for a party

And what keeps it boiling hot

An occasion when you've got


Something to dance about

Someone to dance it with

Something to dance it to

To a fox-trot or a waltz


Put on your dancing shoes

Here comes some happy news

Break up in twos and twos

To a fox-trot or a waltz


You and someone have parted

And your lonely heart yearns

While you're there broken hearted

Suddenly he returns


That's something to dance about

With someone to dance it with

Pick something to dance it to

To a fox-trot or a waltz

To a Charleston or a waltz

To a Tango or a waltz


[Blues tempo]

Dance to the blues

Something to dance about

Someone to dance it with

Something to dance it to Blues


[Rhumba tempo]

Dance it to a rhumba

Ah


[Coda]

To a fox-trot, Charleston, Tango or a waltz

Ooh-ah, ooh-ah



11. Once Upon a Time Today


I would like you to listen

Pay attention and listen

To a story that's old, but never stale

I would like you to listen

Pay attention and listen

To a twentieth century fairy tale


Once there was a princess

Once there was a guy

And they fell in love one wonderful day


But she was a princess

He was just a guy

So there was the royal devil to pay


They were ordered not to speak to one another

And they knew the sorrow that would bring

Still, they promised not to speak to one another

But they didn't promise not to sing


So beneath her window tenderly he sang

All the things he promised never to say

Once upon a time today


He collected lots of corny little phrases

Like "I love you, dear" and "You're for me"

But he found that when he set them all to music

They were just as good as poetry


So beneath her window tenderly he sang

"How about that happy ending in May?"

Once upon a time today


[British version substitutes "ordinary" for "corny little".]



12.They Like Ike


The presidential year will soon be drawing near

The people soon will choose their fav'rite son

I wonder what they'll do in nineteen fifty-two

I wonder who they'll send to Washington


They like Ike

And Ike is good on a mike

They like Ike

-But Ike says he don't wanna


That makes Ike

The kind of feller they like

And what's more

They seem to think he's gonna


-But Harry won't get out

-They're in for plenty of fights

-Harry won't get out

-He's got squatter's rights


But there's Ike

And Ike is good on a mike

And they know

The votes that he can carry

-But don't forget there's Harry

But they like Ike


[2]

For nearly twenty years we've had the people's cheers

The Democrats continue to advance

Of course, they could arrange to make a sudden change

But none's around who seems to have a chance


Ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta

They like Ike

And Ike is good on a mike

They like Ike

-But Ike says he's not bidding


That makes Ike

The kind of feller they like

And what's more

They seem to think he's kidding


-But Harry won't consent

-They'll get a sock on the jaw

-Republican President?

-That's against the law


If it's Ike

Your Chief can go on a hike

And we boys

Will see he doesn't tarry

-Please don't do that to Harry!

But they like Ike


[3]

They won't take Saltonstall and Sasscer's chance is small

The same would go for Vandenburg and Taft

And Dewey's right in line with William Jennings Bryan

There isn't anyone that they can draft


Except for the fact that

They like Ike

And Ike is good on a mike

They like Ike

-But Ike says he won't take it


That makes Ike

The kind of feller they like

And what's more

They seem to think he'll make it


-But Harry's on the ground

-And should Republicans win

-When they come around

-He won't let them in


If it's Ike

Your Chief can get on his bike

And his things

A moving van will carry

-They can't do that to Harry!

But they like Ike



13. (I Wonder Why) You're Just In Love


Kenneth

I hear singing and there's no one there

I smell blossoms and the trees are bare

All day long I seem to walk on air

I wonder why

I wonder why

I keep tossing in my sleep at night

And what's more I've lost my appetite

Stars that used to twinkle in the skies

Are twinkling in my eyes

I wonder why


Sally

You don't need analyzing

It is not so surprising

That you feel very strange but nice

Your heart goes pitter patter

I know just what's the matter

Because I've been there once or twice

Put your head on my shoulder

You need someone who's older

A rubdown with a velvet glove

There is nothing you can take

To relieve that pleasant ache

You're not sick

You're just in love





 

 

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